Michael designed our grave site which is totally custom, something that you
can do at the Sedona Community Cemetery. It is a very special and close to
God and Nature. I look out onto Oak Creek Canyon, a truly magical place.
The area across the road is National Forest, always clean and untouched by
man. The Cemetery is privately owned, and has been here many years. It is
extremely peaceful and quite, and warm! Why I am here may be a mystery to
you, as I was buried in Indianapolis. To help you understand, I will defer to my
husband, who had the final word on my resting place.
|I look north to Oak Creek Canyon
|My thoughts - March, 2008;
This is hard to talk about as there has been so much that has transpired over the last 18 months. It is best to revert to the late 1990's, when
we began the design of our ultimate home in Sedona, AZ. As many of you know, it is not a small place, but a place to live, create and use
as a home base to travel the world. It has two levels and an elevator and no steps. Our "guest house" was designed ultimately for a
husband and wife to live in to provide personal care for us and full time maintenance for the home when we became unable to do it. With
two levels and an elevator, we knew that with scooters we could live and enjoy our home for the rest of our lives.
It was always our intent to be cremated and buried together, here in a place where vortex's and beauty prevail. A plan that went awry when
Jan's cancer returned in 2002. For the next 2 years, she fought very hard and still had full intentions of staying in our new home, which
was unfortunately still under construction. Even through her vitamin drips, all the homeopathic treatments and light chemo she was taking
she still was excited and had the mental attitude that she was going to beat this again; fulfilling our dream of being together in this magical
place. She had said that to many of her dear friends in Sedona.
Unfortunately she returned to Indianapolis instead of seeking treatment in Phoenix. She was given exceptional care by Dr. Anna Maria
Storniolo at IU Medical center in Indianapolis. But in late 2003 her attitude started to change, and the way she thought about a lot of things
changed. I know that the influence of people (family and "friends") in Indianapolis and the setting in of 'Chemo-brain', a known mental issue
with Breast Cancer patients taking chemo drugs that effects judgement, interfered with her ability to reason and act rationally sometimes.
When your beloved mate has these issues, you don't confront, you try to deal with it. I saw her being changed by outside influences that
went totally against our relationship and plans that we had made together, as husband and wife. I found it frustrating and amazing how
friends and family could interfere with our relationship, never even considering the plans we had made together.
I went along with the changes, and buried her in Indianapolis at Washington Park East, a very nice cemetery on the East side. After a year I
could no longer deal with her being in the cold damp ground in Indianapolis (we both hated the weather in Indiana), so I had her cremated
and brought to Arizona even though it upset some of her family members. I know that she is not here spiritually, her essence left when she
passed away in my arms on October 16th, 2006 at 12:30am. Cemeteries and monuments are for the living, as the dead exist at a higher
plane, their spirits comforted by God. The special people in our lives are always with us in our thoughts. There has not been a day that has
gone by that I have not thought of her, and missed her greatly, despite some of the tough times during the last two years of her life that we
both dealt with. There are very few of you out there that (thank God) have had the experience of losing your mate. I cannot begin to
describe the feeling, a feeling of knowing that your mate is dying and will never be with you again, and all your plans and dreams will never
be realized. It is book that ends in the middle leaving the rest of the pages blank. An empty feeling that is best described as a dream that
you know is not real, only to realize every day that it is real.
I have to focus on my future and living life. We humans are here for such a very short time. The 26 years we had together seem like a
day. It is impossible to relate the feeling of loss. It is like part of your life has been misplaced. But that is the time line we subconsciously
all have that we are not aware of until a life changing experience occurs
She was my best friend, my mate and my love. I have a new love, never to replace Jan, but to add to my life, as we all must do or go
insane. Jan is with me always, and her remains are here where we both wanted them to be. So if for no other reason, it was vital for my
sanity and the fulfilment of our goals and desires to move her out here. This brings a certain degree of closure to my relationship with her,
although she will always be a part of my life. Her chapter is done but mine is not.
For those of you who were not aware of this, and for those of you who were, I hope this helps you understand my thoughts and actions.
Whenever you are here in Sedona, I encourage you to visit our monument and recall the good times and thoughts you have of Jan, just as I
This is where she is at rest:
Sedona Community Cemetery
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